'stralia

Nipped over to this place called Australia over Christmas time, with our Gwen. It's the first time I've ever been there and it was weird: it was Christmas and it was hot. Saw these signs posted up everywhere. I don't know if a lot of them are tossers all the time, but if it was a Christmas initiative, my guess is that Aussies get a bit tosserish (is that a word? It is now) because of the heat.



All the people we stopped with were really friendly, though. This is Biz and her mum and dad, who put us up over Christmas and were really nice to us. Biz was in Fernie at the same time as me and she has a penchant for wearing cardboard boxes on her head...



...sometimes. If anyone ever needs a guide to Townsville or the Sunshine coast, then she's your gal.




And if you need a web-page designing then get in touch with this slack-arse called Robin Fearn. Him and his girlfriend kindly put us up for a couple of nights and took us for a spot of sailing around the Whitsundays. He makes a good brew but unfortunately he hails from Yorkshire.

http://www.fearnwebdesign.com




Did the touristy stuff as well. Saw this bridge in Sydney and also looked at a big opera house. Alex (a ginger lad who I did my bike trip with) kindly asked his parents to put us up for a night and a girl I work with in Singapore asked her mum and dad to put us up for a night or two. These were all very nice and far from tosserish. In fact, the only tosser I really encountered was that lad called Robin, from Yorkshire, but then I knew that before I arrived. I think the sign might have been preemptive, rather than a reaction to social behaviour.





Did other touristy stuff too, like feeding a kangaroo...




...and looking at a bird in a cage.





This is me feeding a crocodile.




And this is me taking a touristy photo of a waterfall.




But why would anyone really go to Australia?




Things are looking particularly good when they're even prepared to put their pie shops on to road signs. Who cares about tossers, eh?




I think it was meat and bacon, if I remember correctly. They'd run out of breakfast pies by about 9.30am




And so it went on. This is Freddy's Famous Pie shop. I didn't think I was going to make this one before it shut for the evening as we were quite far away in the car and the guidebook said it closed at 5.30pm. I think it was the best surprise I've ever had when Marni pulled the car over at the side of the road and woke me up from my afternoon passenger seat sleep, to tell me that the pie shop was still open. "Jurassic Park!"




They still had a decent selection as well. Can't remember what I had but it was a tasty little treat. Which brings me on to the main point of this installment of web log: Australian pies are the best of any country that I've ever visited. Fact. Now, don't get me wrong. I wanted more than anything to go over to Oz, try their pies, and then reurn with the proclamation that English pies are far superior. And I did think that I would before I got there. However, I think with all things - even those where national pride is at steak (do you see what I did with that last word there? Very clever, eh?) - you've got to admit when you've been beaten. It's like making a mistake and putting your hand up and saying, "Yep, it was me. It was my fault." Simple as.

It's the same here. The Aussies have an abundance of pie establishments wherever you happen to go. And they're generally of a good quality, with plenty of variety. They might not know how to make the best brew in the world; they might have very nice beaches with sea that you can't step in because of deadly jelly-fish; they might not understand what real ale is; they don't understand that Christmas weather should be cold, and they might not be able to make quality music (AC/DC are the slight exception to the rule), but they know their pies. And that's a fact. The English only come close with the traditional Cornish pasty, which is definitely up there. The only problem is that we don't sell them freshly from enough establisments in the UK. This needs to be addressed. It's like the cricket. We've shown them what to do, invented a certain something, and now they've gone and done it better than us. It's complacency, that's all.